Requesting Caregiver Background Information During Custody Time
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Reviewed & verified by A. Jason Velez, Esq.*
Managing Attorney, 1LAW · Last reviewed January 4, 2026
Legal Inquiry
Consumer Legal Issue
I have a safety concern about an individual who is watching my children during their mother’s scheduled custody time. I asked her via a court app for the individuals information so I can run a background check for public record information. She responded and accused me of having intention to break a law to violate the individuals privacy. She also accused me of demanding the information which I asked for politely and said I was harassing her and trying to control her. Did I do anything wrong? Our custody order does not specify I am entitled to 3rd parties information just their mothers.
Attorney Answer
No — politely asking your child's other parent, through a court-approved communication app, for information about who is caring for your children during her custody time is not illegal and is not inherently harassment.
The custody order's silence on third-party caregivers means there is currently no legal requirement for the other parent to share that information with you; her refusal isn't a violation on her part, but it also isn't evidence that you did anything wrong by asking. Whether the two of you have discussed sharing this kind of information before isn't confirmed by what's here, so that shouldn't be assumed either way.
If the real concern is your children's safety, the more effective path isn't a standoff over one caregiver's identity — it's asking a court to modify custody or decision-making terms. Under North Carolina General Statutes § 50-13.2, courts decide custody based on what best promotes the child's interest and welfare, weighing all relevant factors including safety, and that standard is where this issue belongs.
One distinction matters: asking the other parent to voluntarily share a caregiver's name is different from ordering a formal background or consumer report on that person, which can trigger federal rules requiring a permissible purpose for obtaining such a report.
What you can do:
1. Continue requesting caregiver information through the court-approved app, in writing and without accusatory language.
2. If safety is the real concern, consult an attorney about filing a motion to modify custody or decision-making terms.
3. Avoid ordering a formal background or consumer report on the caregiver without understanding the permissible-purpose rules first.
4. Keep a record of all communications in case they're needed for a future modification request.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Can a parent request information about who is caring for their child during the other parent's custody time?
Generally yes; politely requesting this information is not illegal or inherently harassment, though the other parent isn't required to share it unless the custody order requires it.
How can a custody order be updated to require disclosure of caregivers?
Many states let a parent petition to modify custody or decision-making terms, and courts generally decide based on the child's best interests, including safety factors.
Are there legal rules for running a background check on someone?
Generally yes; formal consumer or background reports are subject to federal rules requiring a permissible purpose, which differs from simply asking someone to share information voluntarily.
