Custody and Housing Rights Amid a Controlling Co-Parent Dispute
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Reviewed & verified by A. Jason Velez, Esq.*
Managing Attorney, 1LAW · Last reviewed January 7, 2026
Legal Inquiry
Consumer Legal Issue
My child's mother is going to try and get rid of me and not let me. See my kids take their last name off and kick me out of the housing we are in bu she never lets me leave the house to get a job or or anything else like Dr appointment.
I'm on the lease and no legal agreement in place where we live and the kids I live with right now but she is trying get rid of me when she wouldn't let me help with the kids.
Attorney Answer
The other parent generally cannot unilaterally remove you from the home, cut off your access to work or medical care, or change your children's last name without your consent — not while you remain on the lease and no custody order has stripped your parental rights.
Under New Hampshire RSA chapter 461-A, both parents share parenting rights, and neither parent may unilaterally disregard the other's parenting time; a legal change of a child's surname requires a court petition decided on the child's best interests, not a unilateral decision by one parent. Because you're on the lease, only a landlord or a court — not a co-tenant — can remove you from the home.
Being kept from leaving the house at all — not just during parenting time, but to go to work or to medical appointments — is more than a parenting dispute. That pattern can constitute domestic violence under New Hampshire law: RSA chapter 173-B allows a family or household member to seek a protective order where the other person commits or attempts acts like criminal restraint or false imprisonment that pose a credible present threat to safety, which can include being prevented from leaving your home.
What you can do:
1. Contact a New Hampshire domestic-violence resource or hotline to discuss whether a protective order under RSA 173-B fits your situation.
2. Document each instance you're prevented from leaving — dates, and what you were kept from doing (work, medical appointments).
3. File for a parenting plan under RSA 461-A to establish court-ordered parenting time and decision-making authority, including the surname dispute.
4. Confirm your lease status in writing; as a co-tenant, you cannot be removed without landlord action or a court order.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Can one parent unilaterally change a shared child's last name?
Generally, no; a legal name change typically requires a court petition decided based on the child's best interests, not a unilateral decision by one parent.
Can a co-tenant be removed from a shared home without a court process?
Generally, no; if someone remains on the lease, only a landlord or a court can remove them, not another occupant.
When does restricting someone from leaving a home become a legal issue?
Preventing someone from leaving to work or attend medical appointments can potentially constitute unlawful restraint, which in many states supports seeking a protective order.
