Can I Require the Father to Go to Therapy Before He Sees Our Child in Utah?
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Reviewed & verified by A. Jason Velez, Esq.*
Managing Attorney, 1LAW · Last reviewed January 1, 2026
Legal Inquiry
Consumer Legal Issue
My baby's father has anger issues and a drinking problem. I'm wondering if I can tell him he has to go to therapy or he can't see our child. He snapped at our child, and it scares me that he might do something when I'm not there. I have custody of the child.
He had a legal case between him and his ex girlfriend and he has done it in front of my mom a few times. We don't have a legal agreement.
Attorney Answer
Because there is no court order in place, there is no visitation schedule the child's father can legally enforce right now, and you can set conditions on visits, including asking him to attend therapy or address his drinking first. In Utah, an informal arrangement between parents is not legally binding on its own. Until a court enters a custody or parent-time order, he has no court-backed right to visits on any schedule, so you are not required to hand your child over for time you have not agreed to.
In practice, this means you can tell him that visits depend on him attending therapy or addressing his drinking. That said, this kind of informal arrangement can change. If he wants regular, legally protected time with your child, he can ask a Utah court for a parent-time order, which for unmarried parents starts with legally establishing paternity under the Utah Uniform Parentage Act (Utah Code Title 78B, Chapter 15) if that has not already happened. If he does, the court will decide based on your child's best interests, and your documented concerns about his anger and drinking will matter.
Given what you've described, including a prior legal case involving his ex-girlfriend and incidents your mother has witnessed, building a written record now protects you either way.
What you can do
1. Write down every incident, including the one with your child, with dates, what was said or done, and who saw it, starting now while it's fresh. 2. Ask your mother to write down what she witnessed in her own words, with dates, in case it's needed later. 3. If you want an enforceable arrangement so an informal understanding doesn't fall apart later, consider filing for a parent-time order yourself, which lets a judge build in conditions like therapy, supervised visits, or a no-alcohol requirement. 4. If you ever feel your child is in immediate danger, call 911. If the pattern continues, ask a family law attorney whether a protective order fits your situation. 5. Look into the details of that prior legal case involving his ex-girlfriend, since if it involved violence or a protective order, it could be very relevant to a future parent-time case.
This is general legal information, not legal advice, and a Utah family law attorney can review your specific situation and help you set up an arrangement that protects your child.
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- File or look up a case through the Utah State Courts, which serves the state.
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- Use the LawHelp.org to browse free legal information and self-help resources.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to let my baby's father see our child if we were never married and there's no court order?
Generally no. Until a court enters a custody or parent-time order, there is no schedule he can legally enforce, so you can set conditions on visits or decline them. This can change once he establishes paternity and gets a parent-time order from a court.
How do I get a legally enforceable custody and parent-time order?
You or he can file a paternity and custody action in Utah district court, which lets a judge set specific terms, including any conditions you're concerned about, like therapy or supervised time. Filing yourself lets you propose those terms first rather than reacting to his.
What if he refuses therapy and tries to see our child anyway without a court order?
Without a court order granting him time, you are not legally required to allow contact you don't agree to. If he shows up uninvited or won't respect your decision, document it and consider talking to a family law attorney about your options, including whether a protective order is appropriate.
