Third-Party Harassment During a Partner's Pending Divorce
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Reviewed & verified by A. Jason Velez, Esq.*
Managing Attorney, 1LAW · Last reviewed January 1, 2026
Legal Inquiry
Consumer Legal Issue
So my boyfriend has 3 kids and is working on a divorce and his ex wife's sister keeps saying that I am not the children's mother and my boyfriend and I are going to get married how do I handle the situation because she is being mean and acting jealous about his kids.
Attorney Answer
There is generally no legal claim just because a relative is being rude or jealous about your relationship — the law only steps in once the behavior crosses into specific conduct such as threats or a repeated pattern that meets the legal definition of harassment or stalking.
A relative saying you are "not the mother," or acting jealous and unpleasant, is genuinely frustrating, but on its own it usually is not something a court can act on. Utah law generally requires more before a civil stalking injunction or similar order will issue — repeated unwanted contact, threats, following, or a documented pattern of conduct that would cause a reasonable person fear or substantial emotional distress. Ordinary interpersonal conflict, even ongoing and mean-spirited, typically does not clear that bar.
If the behavior escalates, that changes. Direct threats, showing up uninvited, repeated contact after being asked to stop, or drawing the children into it are all worth documenting carefully, because a pattern is what makes legal options available.
This dynamic can also become relevant inside the divorce itself if it starts affecting the children or your partner's parenting time. That is a conversation for the attorney already handling his case, raised within the existing proceeding, rather than a separate claim of your own.
What you can do
1. Keep a written log of specific incidents — date, what was said or done, who was present — so that if the behavior escalates you have a record rather than a memory. 2. Limit direct engagement, and keep any necessary communication brief, calm, and where possible in writing. 3. Share anything affecting the children or the parenting schedule with the attorney handling the divorce, since it may matter to that case. 4. If conduct ever includes threats or makes you fear for your safety, contact local law enforcement and ask about protective order options. 5. Avoid responding in kind on social media or in group messages, since conflict around a pending divorce tends to end up in front of the judge.
Cases Cited
Published decisions relevant to this issue, provided as legal background rather than advice about any particular case.
- Ream v. Ream, 2025 UT App 105 — Court of Appeals of Utah 2025
- Ragsdale v. Fishler, 2025 UT App 36 — Court of Appeals of Utah 2025
- Staszkiewicz v. Thomas, 2024 UT App 183, 562 P.3d 723 — Court of Appeals of Utah 2024
- Anderson v. Deem, 2023 UT App 48, 530 P.3d 945 — Court of Appeals of Utah 2023
- Schmidt v. Petersen, 2025 UT App 12, 564 P.3d 526 — Court of Appeals of Utah 2025
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Frequently Asked Questions
What does someone need to show to get a civil stalking injunction in Utah?
Generally a repeated course of conduct directed at the person that would cause a reasonable person fear or substantial emotional distress. A single unpleasant comment or interaction usually is not enough on its own.
Can a partner who is not a legal parent be involved in a custody case?
Custody proceedings generally focus on the legal parents' rights and responsibilities, though the household a child will be living in can come up as one of the circumstances a court considers.
Is rude or jealous behavior from a relative harassment under Utah law?
Only if it rises to a legally defined pattern, such as repeated unwanted contact intended to alarm, annoy, or intimidate. Isolated unpleasant remarks generally do not meet that standard.
