Challenging the Addition of Children to a Domestic Violence Restraining Order
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Reviewed & verified by A. Jason Velez, Esq.*
Managing Attorney, 1LAW · Last reviewed June 15, 2025
Legal Inquiry
Consumer Legal Issue
She files for custody of the kids. They granted her custody with visitation at her discretion. She also filed a restraining order for verbal abuse. I was able to see my kids pick them up. Have contact with them then. 2 weeks later, I didn't know where she went down and added them to the restraining order and her reasoning for that was. They feel threatened by me.They're one years old and 5 years old.I know they didn't tell her that they have no idea what that means.I feel like she's using my kids.As leverage to keep them away from contacting me.
What? Can I do if she added my kids to the protection order or reasoning? Is they feel threatened by me. They're one years old and 5 years old. They don't even know what that means. My 1-year-old can't even like she's using that as an excuse to keep the kids and keep me from contacting them. She's using them as leverage. What can I do? To prove that she's lying and she's abusing the court order.And it's not the best interest for my kids for her to not allow them to contact me purposely.
Attorney Answer
Yes — you can file a request to modify the order, and the strongest point of attack is that adding your children required the court to find good cause, which you can ask it to revisit.
A California domestic violence restraining order can bar contact with the person who requested it, but extending it to other family or household members is not automatic. The court may do so only in its discretion and only on a showing of good cause (Cal. Fam. Code § 6320). That good-cause requirement is exactly the piece you can challenge: if the record does not actually support a finding that your children needed protection from you, that is a legitimate basis to ask the court to reconsider.
Custody and visitation are handled through a different mechanism in the same law, and it matters which one is actually restricting your contact. A court may make temporary custody and visitation orders in a domestic violence proceeding, and it is required to consider whether visitation should be limited to supervised contact with a specified third person present rather than simply suspended or denied (Cal. Fam. Code § 6323). Where a total denial of contact is not supported, supervised visitation is often the realistic middle ground to propose.
It is also worth knowing the timeline you are working against. Personal conduct and stay-away orders can run up to five years and can be renewed for five more years or permanently, at the court's discretion, without the requesting party having to show any further abuse since the original order (Cal. Fam. Code § 6345). This will not quietly expire on its own.
What you cannot do is resolve this informally. Contacting the children directly, or trying to prove your case outside of court, would violate the existing order and would badly damage your position at the hearing you actually need.
What you can do
1. Get a complete copy of the current order, including any findings the court made about the children and the underlying request that was filed. 2. File a request to modify the restraining order in the court that issued it, specifically challenging whether good cause was shown for including the children. 3. Propose a concrete alternative in that request — supervised visitation with a neutral third person present — rather than only asking that the order be lifted. 4. Gather evidence about your relationship with your children and the basis for the stated fear, but do not contact the children directly in violation of the order. 5. Retain a California family law attorney experienced in domestic violence proceedings; these hearings move quickly and the standards for modifying an active order are technical.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Does a California domestic violence restraining order automatically cover the protected person's children?
No. A court may enjoin contact with other named family or household members, but only in its discretion and only on a showing of good cause — it is not an automatic extension simply because the primary protected person requests it.
What is supervised visitation and when is it used instead of no contact at all?
Supervised visitation allows a parent to see a child with a specified third person present. California law directs courts in domestic violence proceedings to consider whether visitation should be supervised, as an alternative to suspending or denying it outright.
How long does a California domestic violence restraining order last?
Personal conduct, stay-away, and residence exclusion orders may run up to five years, and may be renewed for five or more years or permanently at the court's discretion, without a showing of further abuse since the original order was issued.
